Who doesn't need a Snuggernaut?

Watch Snuggie Spin-Offs on CollegeHumor

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Child Abuse Caught on Film

Wandering through the web this morning I found some photos that had to be shared. They come to you courtesy of the appropriately named awkwardfamilyphotos.com

These poor kids ... I could look at this photo for hours and never stop finding new gems. The most disturbing thing to me is the crazy choke hold that the two boys on the top are giving to their teddy bears. Combine that choke hold with a bowl haircut and an awkward squirrely mustache and I believe we have the makings of a pair of future serial killers on our hands ... maybe I should forward this to John Walsh and give him a head start on these two. At least the girl on the top left seems to realize that her family has some issues and that she needs to get out as soon as humanly possible. Her pose is saying "Yeah sure, I love to dress teddy bears in feather boas" but her eyes are saying "For the love of God, HELP me!"

But the teddy bear kids have nothing on the screwed up life that the unborn child of these two is destined for.

Lets take this one from the top:

1. Pregnant Belly Photos? Totally acceptable.

2. Partial Nudity Photos? When tastefully done - no problem.

3. Sears Portraits with your significant other? That's starting to get creepy but I can deal with it.

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But dude, just because your girl is pregnant and wants to get a picture of her naked belly - that doesn't give you the excuse to take your clothes off too. And just because you're both half naked and pressed up on each other that doesn't give you the excuse to grab her ass in the photo. And nothing gives you the excuse for that hair.

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OMG Herself The Elf!

This is a bit indulgent I know but after my Picture Pages flashback it got me thinking about other great 80's fashions, fads and tv shows that I miss. That's way too much for one post so this one is just going to be a reminder of some of the greatest toys we had in the 80's...

I think we all remember the biggies ... He-Man & She-Ra, Smurfs, California Raisins, Popples, Rainbow Bright, Light Brite (personal fav), Teddy Ruxbin, Care Bears etc. but you may have forgotten about these...

MAD BALLS

SEA WEES

(I'm pretty sure these came with sponges and their tails would change color with cold water)

WRINKLES DOGS

(Did we really ever think these were cute?)

SWEET SECRETS

(You probably remember Polly-Pocket but what about these??)

MY PET MONSTER

(Proof that you could pretty much slap some hot-pink on anything and kids would want it in the 80's)

PILLOW PEOPLE
(I don't remember this one - seems a bit violent to me - I'm pretty sure mine involved some sort of zebra print)

WUZZLES

(These were a poor-man's Care Bear but I definitely had one ... what does that say about me?)

PUR-TENDERS

(What's with the obession over animals with an identity crisis?)

POOCHIE

POGO-BALL

(There were some serious throw-downs on the playground blacktop over these)

HERSELF THE ELF!

(This one is mostly for my sister's sake - does anyone else remember her?)

POCKET ROCKERS

(Who needs an I-Pod when you have one of these??)

I could go on and on - its probably gotten a bit obnoxious already. Anyone remember more?

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Out of Control Eye Lashes

Have you seen ads for this new Latisse stuff??? If not, here is what it claims to do according to their website:

"LATISSE™ solution is a prescription treatment for hypotrichosis used to grow eyelashes, making them longer, thicker and darker."

For those of you unfamiliar with hypotrchosis (and too lazy to click the link I gave you) wiki describes it as "the term dermatologists use to describe a condition of no hair growth. Unlike alopecia, which describes hair loss where formerly there was hair growth, hypotrichosis describes a situation where there wasn't any hair growth in the first place."

OK, I have no problem with that ... if I was born with NO eye lashes I might feel like a bit of freak in a Whoopi Goldberg kind of way. But how many people are there in the world with no eye lashes? Have you ever come across one? I know I haven't - and honestly there's a quick fix for that (one that I've personally used with great success - although it was on Halloween.)

But this product is not even being aimed at those few people with hypotrichosis. It's being aimed at me, and women like me ... women with average eye lashes. I mean, the spokes person is Brooke Shields for God's sake. If a former model and actress needs this product then surely the rest of us do, right? And check out some of their before and after shots. The lashes on that "before" picture look vaguely familiar. In fact, I think I look at them in the mirror every day! And I have a bit of a secret for you now ... I probably shouldn't let this slip and hopefully the Latisse people don't come and hunt me down for ruining their sales ... but I have a trick of my own for making my lashes look a little closer to the "after" picture every day. I think I can trust you not to let this secret go beyond our close circle - it's for readers of The Bee only... I use a new space-age product called Mascara. I know it sounds a little scary at first but trust me on this one.

Did I mention that, like any prescription drug, there are side effects to this stuff? Check it out, again according to their own website:

"May cause eyelid skin darkening which may be irreversible, and there is potential for increased brown iris pigmentation which is likely to be permanent. There is a potential for hair growth to occur in areas where LATISSE™ solution comes in repeated contact with skin surfaces. If you develop or experience any eye problems or have eye surgery, consult your doctor immediately about continued use of LATISSE™. The most common side effects after using LATISSE™ solution are an itching sensation in the eyes and/or eye redness."

Did you happen to catch the words "irreversible" and "permanent" and the mention of hair growth in unwanted areas? I know I sure did. So basically you have the potential to end of looking like this poor girl on an everyday basis. Tragedy. Trust me, stick with the mascara!

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The Back Yard "Before"

As promised I have finally uploaded some pictures (well .... one picture) of my back yard "before" the transformation. There are a few key items that I wanted to point out in fear that you would miss the best bits.

A: This is a lovely example of the overgrown madness that was left by the previous owners. This was originally one half of a matching set until ...

B: The second half fell over under its own weight.

C: These are some super cute flower pots generously purchased by my mother-in-law on her last visit from Holland. She and my husband took a trip to Home Depot one day while I was at work and I came home to a pansy delight in the back yard. It was great - but as previously mentioned we are lazy people and it didn't last long. Notice the total lack of flora currently in the cute pots.

D: We purchased these hedge clippers during our first spring in the house - if only we had used them we might not have been in this mess.

E: Can you believe we recycle? GO EARTH!! :)

F: This DRUM can is my husband's main contribution to the outside decore. Notice the rust (perhaps he thinks this makes it an "antique").

SIDE NOTE: While adding the labels to my photo I was overwhelmed with the most amazing feeling that I was just like Bill Cosby in Picture Pages. If only I had the magic musical pen it would have been an 80's dream come true! (The addition of some slouch socks and a slap braclet would have sent me over the top!)

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