Friday, July 2, 2010

I Mock Because I Love.

I LOVE me some Eric Hutchinson. And I'm not too cool to admit that I also love me some Justin Timberlake. But what could be better than Eric Hutchinson playfully mocking J.T.??


Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Maryland House

Congratulations to my husband Edo!! He was the recipient of an award recently from The Maryland Historical Trust.  He and a small crew of guys from his work spent some time last year restoring an old building on the property of the Baltimore Zoo.  I have been to the Zoo several times and when he tried to explain to me the building he was working on I was baffled. After seeing some of the before pictures I get it now. The thing was covered in weeds and bushes and no one would ever have though much of it.

At the awards ceremony I learned some of the history of the building:

The Maryland Building was designed by noted Baltimore architect George A. Frederick for the 1876 Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia. It is one of only two State buildings that have survived, the other being the Ohio Building. The building was dismantled and relocated to the Maryland Zoo after the close of the Exposition and had fallen into a state of disrepair in recent years. Rather than demolish the deteriorated, but salvageable building, the Maryland Zoo chose to restore the building for classroom and administrative use. The building has been carefully restored, including historically accurate paint colors and exterior detailing, while meeting all modern safety, accessibility, and functional requirements.

I did some googling and was able to find a very cool site through the Free Library of Philadelphia with information about the Exposition.

Below is a slide show with some of the before and after pictures of The Maryland House. Note: Don't let those Amish guys fool you - according to my husband they totally use power tools!


Sunday, May 30, 2010

What a Collosal Waste of 6 years


Friday, May 28, 2010

Someone Call John Walsh!

I guest Blogged on my mom's site today...

(WARNING: this post is Epic in length but totally worth the read)

For several weeks my friends and I have been kicking ass and taking names at Charm City Trivia! We're ranked first at our local - not that I'm bragging. This week my mom and Kirk came with us and as usual we were unstoppable! We won two free rounds of shots for the whole team, a $20 gift card for the restaurant and a trashy Blue Moon beer t-shirt. A good time was had by all. But that's a story for another day.

After last night's win I decided to keep the party going (since I didn't have work the next day - who doesn't loves holiday weekends??) One of my friends suggested a dive bar down the street that I had never been to. I have seen this place from the outside since I was a little girl - it's the back half of a liquor store and its situated nicely between a Goodwill Superstore and a KFC.
I was hesitant but she assured me it would be fun. "They have an arcade bowling game! You'll love it."

I am a sucker for games.
So we went ... my friends Carrie & Will, my husband and myself. I got out of the car and walked up to the front door to meet Will. Meanwhile Carrie and my husband were hanging back in the lot because my husband found a snakeskin at work that day and couldn't wait to show her ... look I never said we weren't trashy. Let's remember where we were though; it fit.

As we walked up to the front some guy was standing outside smoking and he offered a friendly greeting which I returned and then quickly lost eye contact. I gave Carrie the stink eye for talking me into going there and she started busting up laughing just knowing what we were in for.

We walked inside and the smell was a bit off-putting. Musty old carpet and 40 years of drinking and smoking that had seeped into the wood paneling on the walls. It wasn't the greatest but I've seen worse. So we grabbed a seat. Will went up to the bar to order drinks and asked some of the regulars if there was anything on draft or just bottles. The two regulars looked at each other like he was speaking a foreign language. They had no idea what a draft beer was. They thought he meant like Heineken vs. Budweiser; and of course they had no time for some yuppie that wanted a fancy beer. Eventually he got the bartender's attention and ordered two Yeungling bottles to be on the safe side. The rest of the bar was populated with about half a dozen middle aged men. Alone. Drinking themselves into oblivion. This was not a social bar - it was a strait alcoholic's bar. There was one guy sitting at a table alone that I was concerned might be unconscious, or worse, but Carrie assured me he was fine. How she knew that without putting a mirror to his mouth is beyond me but I took her word for it.
Then I realized all the shots and Mai Tai's from trivia were hitting my bladder hard.

Me: "How's the bathroom here?"

Carie:  "Not bad ... if you don't mind showers curtains!"

Holy shit. WTF does that mean?!?! Is the door to the bathroom a shower curtain? Am I expected to pee in a bathtub? I mean seriously - this was not going to be good.
I ventured around the corner to the restrooms - on the way I passed an old shopping cart in the hall. How or why that was there I will never know. I found the bathrooms. One marked MEN and one marked BITCHES. Sweet. But - at least it was an actual door. This was a good sign and I began to think that maybe Carrie was exaggerating. As I opened the door I knew I was wrong. The smell of a dead body smacked me in the face. Where I found the strength to continue on I will never know; maybe my bladder is really just that weak. As I looked around the "bathroom" I discovered what Carrie was talking about. I came face to face with two stalls - no doors - just shower curtains. And not just any shower curtains - fancy shower curtains (exactly like the picture below.) They clearly spared no expense. Although, I'm pretty certain it was one shower curtain cut in half and split between the two stalls.

Using the actual toilet was it's own adventure. The shower curtains are not on any kind of rod - they are nailed to the molding over the stall. So you can't even slide it out of the way you just have to plow through. Then once I got in position I realized that the shower curtain is hung less than an inch away from the edge of the toilet seat. So while you're sitting/squatting there, not only your knees but your FACE is rubbing up against the curtain. God knows what has touch that thing. Honestly - if someone else was to walk into the bathroom while you're on the toilet they would totally see the outline of a person with two knees sticking out the sides.

Seriously - whats the point?? The only thing this shower curtain is doing is helping the spread of herpes.

I peed and wiped and ran the hell out of there. I didn't even stop to look at the sink to wash my hands. I was surely cleaner not even touching the faucet. When I get back to the table I got some Purell from Carrie and asked if we could leave. She couldn't stop laughing and the guys were just clueless. They assumed I was over-reacting and continued to concentrate on their Keno.

I dragged everyone outside for a "cigarette break" which was really just and excuse to tell them my horror story and breathe some fresh air. I demanded that we call John Walsh from America's Most Wanted because we could easily solve about 10 murders on the spot. The DNA evidence was all over my face!

There were a few more awkward moments involving 10 homeless guys in the woods and a midget but I don't want to blow your mind so I'll spare you.

I left as soon as possible and could not get in the shower quick enough when I got home.

I texted Carrie that night and told her I had self-diagnosed syphilis. Carrie replied "Not bad. At least it's curable!"


Sunday, March 28, 2010


Remember that show Robot Wars? For years they televised what they refered to as "The Sport of Roboteering". That might be a bit of a stretch on the definition of the word sport, but I get what they mean.

My cousin has been on one of these teams for several years but I never totally got it. Well this weekend they had a Regional Competition in sunny Philadelphia and I was able to watch the whole thing via live stream online. It was simultaneously on of the coolest and easily one of the dorkiest things I have ever had the pleasure to enjoy (and I have done some dorky shit in my life.)

It was basically a glorified game of foosball where each team partner up with two other teams and got their robots to shoot goals, block the nets and hang on a pole for a bonus! I didn't totally get it and at times I wasn't even sure which team I was supposed to be cheering for but trust me it was impressive.

But as much as I respected the genius it took for these kids to build and operate these robots, I still couldn't ignore the fact that, for the most part, they were super nerds. I mean with team names like "Positrinic Panthers" and some thing about Vicotious Vulcans or Killer Klingons or some crap, I can't pretend like they were cool. Luckily my cousin team name is "The Brigaid" - perfectly respectable and not at all nerdy. Good job Tony.  To make it worse at one point the whole crowd did a geek-tastic rendition of the Cha Cha Slide. I was dying inside. But as much as these kids surely get made fun of, you can't deny that they are all headed for good places in their future. Indeed "The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth."


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Historic Bromo Seltzer Clock Restoration

My husband is working on the most amazing project at work. He's part of a very small team of guys in charge of re-finishing the hands of the most famous timepiece in Baltimore; the historic Bromo Seltzer Tower.  The tower and it's clock were built in 1911 and it's about to celebrate it's 100th anniversary. Unfortunately the clock face on the south side of the tower has not been working for several years so now they're going to fix it. As part of this they are actually taking the hands off of the clock and completely restoring them. The whole event has already been getting decent coverage in the local news.

I found a clip from the local CBS affiliate, WJZ, that included a quick shot of my husband at the very end - I'm not able to embed it but I do have the link to share.

I also found some great pictures from maryland daily record.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

Muse & Dry Humping

Anyone who knows me - knows that I am a hermit.  But this year for my husband's birthday I bought him tickets to see a band that has been a favorite of his for almost 10 years, Muse. And I could have told him to take a friend but I thought it would be even more amazing if I actually said I would go with him. So last night I found myself elbow to elbow with one of the smelliest groups of people I have ever encountered. The texting with my friends and family began almost immediately ...

8:23 ME: I kinda hate being here, already.

8:24 WILL: I was wondering about you.

8:34 ME: Ok we're in our seats now so I'm happier. Plus I spotted a Starter jacket so that's mad decent.

8:35 WILL: Ha ha ha ha

8:36 ME: I seriously think John Park is sitting 3 rows up from us.

8:41 MOM: Call his name.

8:47 JAMIE: Ha ha u r retarded! He's asian, they all look the same.

8:48 JAMIE: Bowersox killed it dude!

8:49 ME: No! Don't tell me! I'm DVRing it.

8:54 ME: He's wearing teal pants and Kanye sunglasses it's pretty sweet.

8:56 WILL: Sounds phenominal.

9:09 ME: Ok, I just had a mild seizure.

9:10 WILL: Why?


9:31 ME: And they are doing the Michael Buble song.

9:32 WILL: What? Really? Now that's cool.

9:34 ME: Muse is major laser.


That starter jacket was seriously sweet - it brought me straight back to middle school.

How sad is it that I was worrying about the American Idol Top 10 girls performances I was missing instead of enjoying the live performance by a legit band that was RIGHT INFRONT OF MY FACE?

The "Michael Buble" song I was refering to is Feeling Good which is not really Buble's song. It's was written in the 60's for a musical and has been covered by artists like John Coltrane, Olivia Newton-John, Eels, Ben Taylor, George Micheal and The Pussycat Dolls. But I think pretty much everyone knows it as the "Michael Buble" song so that's what I went with.

I didn't mention it in the texts but there was a couple across the isle from us dry humping the entire time and I felt like a criminal everytime my eyes would wonder from the stage to them .... but seriously how do you not look at that??

There were some confusing times when we couldn't decided if we were going to stay in our seats or stand in front of them and awkwardly "dance" like all the kids do. Once, I finally made up my mind that we were going to stand - but then the next song they played was "Supermassive Black Hole." Unfortunately this is is the song from the Twilight movie soundtrack which ment I had to sit immediately back down so everyone around us didn't think I was just a Twi-hard and not really a Muse fan (and you guys know I am a complete Twi-hard  so this was against my grain.)


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Tribute to Paul Reubens

Many people seem to remember the great Paul Reubens for his less than glorious 1991 charges involving a popcorn bucket and a porno. But I like to remember him as the kooky? zanny? crazy? creepy? Pee Wee Herman. Or even better - for his role in Blow (great movie by the way - if you haven't seen it make it happen!).

I know I'm not alone in my appreciation of him but even I was surprised when one of Paul Reubens' biggest fans showed up in the strangest of places last night. On my television, smack dab in the middle of my American Idol.

I had no idea that Jermaine Sellers had such love for the man. But clearly after the bow tie / gray jacket / forehead poof presentation he gave, there can be no doubt. Maybe next week he will paint his face blue and honor the amazing John Paragon (aka Jambi the Genie.)


Friday, February 26, 2010

Ever get a box of forks?

 Comedy Central PresentsFriday 10pm / 9c
Sebastian Maniscalco - Ross for Less
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games
Ross, Marsalls, T.J. Max - whatever you call it - they're all the same and I think we've ALL been there.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday


Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I imagine most of you have at least heard about the Epic snow the Northeast U.S. has been getting lately. I know it's nothing compared to the snow that some people get on the regular and I don't want to be that person that complains about something when it's not really all that bad. But after my morning commute ... I am officially complaining. My office decided to give us "liberal leave" so it was up to us to decide if we could make it in. If it were up to me I would have stayed in bed but my carpool buddy, Will, was the responsible one. He figured since we're getting another foot of snow tonight this might be our only chance to get some work done.

* Over-Achiever *

So I agreed to go. As usual, he drove to my house and planned to park in my husband's space and I would drive the rest of the way to work. I was sitting at the front window watching my moron sweet neighbor walk her dog down the luge that is our street when he pulled up. He clearly eyed the two spaces on either side of my car trying to figure out which one was ours and which one was our neighbor's. He then began the process of parking in said space and believe me it wasn't pretty. He almost ate it at least half-a-dozen times and there were more than a couple cars that almost went with him. Finally he made it and came up to meet me. He walked in the door -- we hadn't even made eye contact yet when he said:

"That's not Edo's space is it?"


"Are you F'ing kidding me?!?! @#$##*& @#@#$** $#%**(!!@&&*+"

I had to laugh but suggested that he just drive to work since he was going to have to move his car anyway. He reluctantly agreed.

He warned me that it had taken him 45 minutes to get to my house even though it usually takes only 10 so I knew we were in for an advetnure. We left the house with hopes that the main roads would be cleared even if the neighborhoods weren't.

We are fools.

An hour later we finally made it to the ramp onto Interstate 95 when the unimaginable happened. A driver, about 10 cars ahead of us, broke down ... in the middle of the road ... in between two 8 foot high snow banks ... ON AN OVERPASS.

My panic disorder kicked into high gear.

It was so ridiculous that I didn't even think people at work would believe us when we told them why we were so late. So I decided I would video tape the situation. Just then a driver from a few cars behind us decided to get out and investigate the situation. It was perfection. I eventually got to work but I still wish I had stayed home. We were stuck on that overpass for longer than me and my blood pressure care to remember.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the extra foot of snow we get tonight convinces the-powers-that-be to close my office. I don't know if I can go through it again.

P.S. Thanks so much for all the Happy Birthday Wishes!!


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Worldless Wednesday

My husband brought this unox brand sausage knit cap home from Holland last year and insisted on embarrassing me with it by wearing it in the grocery store.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Those Brits are So Clever


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Some People Have a Sweet Tooth ...

You may already know that I carpool from Baltimore to D.C. every day with my friend Will.  It saves us gas money and also gives us time to talk some major bull-shit. This morning in the car Will told me a story about a conversation he had with some other friends at happy hour last week.

He was at the bar with his girlfriend, Dawn as well as another couple, Sam and Sarah. 

During casual - happy hour type - conversation, Will brought up some guy that would occasionally come into the bar with home-made beef jerky and offer it up to all the patrons. Someone then jokingly implied that the guy was probably a serial killer and was making jerky out of his victims and then unbeknown to everyone else, they were actually eating people. Muwahahahaha!

Kind of funny - kind of gross but whatever.

Sarah then went on to say that if it WAS human jerky she would try it – just to see how it tasted – you know, just to see if maybe she liked it.

Will was floored (as was I when I heard this). He asked her what she would do if she ended up liking it – would she go around sizing up everyone she saw and think “Mmmm, they look tasty!”

Her response: “I don’t know … maybe.”
Will looked to Sam for some support and also an indication that he knew his wife was bat shit crazy.

Sam’s point of view is that he too would taste human flesh – but only if it was his own.

He said that, for example, if his arm somehow got cut off he would go ahead and take a bite.
(Or some shit like that – perhaps he mentioned cooking it first or waiting until the blood stopped pumping or something – as if it matters. Minor details really.)

As if that makes it better!!! I didn't actually think it could get worse than what Sarah propsed, but in retro-spect I think Sam as actually accomplished it with this statement.

When Will looked at Dawn for her opinion she said there was no way she would have any desire to eat another person. (Thank God)

Will concluded by telling Sam & Sarah ...

“Well, I’m NEVER going hiking with you bitches!”

Nicely put Will.

But maybe I am being naive here. Perhaps there are a larger number of people than expected who would, if given the opportunity, ya know, take a bite. Let's hear it people how many of you are there out there?? Since you might not want to admit it but I am crazy-curious to find out the truth - check out the ANONYMOUS poll in the sidebar. I need to get to the bottom of this.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Restaurant Week in Charm City!

Restaurant Week and my sister's birthday are both this week. In honor, we will be having dinner at Jack's Bistro.  Unfortunately, when I looked up the special menu for this week I found this picture.  It looks like some kind of George Orwell nightmare. Now I'm just scared.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Yet Another Reason...

That Kara DioGuardi is a bane of my existence.

You guys already know that I am and a huge fan of crappy television so get ready for some crap-tastic posts because it's that time of year again...American Idol is back!

Last night was the Season 9 opener and I was pretty unimpressed with Boston's offerings. But the most disturbing part of the show was the segment on a young man named Andrew Fenlon. Am I upset because he was rude to Simon? Or because he was "angry" with Kara? Or because he was a weird guy with weird glasses?

No. I am upset because Fox thinks we are all morons. But in reality, the moron is Kara.

This guy was clearly a fake. He was putting on a show - acting like a strange, weird kid with a strange brown shirt, a goofy haircut and weird too big glasses. He acted like some kind of an outcast. ACTED being the important word here. Take a second look people - this guy is totally the captain of the football team, homecoming king and all that jazz. He's a good looking guy under those glasses and I'm not the only one that noticed. Skip to minute 1:18 on the video and you'll see that even Kara and Victoria Beckham thought he was cute from the second they laid eyes on him ... notice Kara's "Hel-lo" when he walks in the room. That's not just any hello ... we know what that hello means Kara. It means you want to cover him in honey and keep him in your basement.

But then he takes his act too far and gives unnecessary and unfunny responses to Simon's questions and it's downhill from there. Even after giving a great performance ... yes, I said it ... a GREAT performance. Re-watch it people (he starts singing at 2:18.) Yeah his voice cracks once or twice in the beginning but no one is perfect and he was nervous or maybe it wasn't the best song choice or whatever but that was a pretty brilliant vocal (for me, for you, for me.) And I think the judges realized it too. But unfortunately for Mr. Fenlon the resident brain surgeon, Kara DioGuardi, was the first judge to put her two sense in. She freaks out about his "fake" attitude and it was all she wrote.

Now, I'm not sure if Fox put this kid up to it or if he thought of this shenanigans on his own but either way it was stupid. He or they or whoever are idiots for thinking the audience wouldn't see through it. Kara is apparently the only one stupid enough to fall for it.

Can I get an Amen? Please tell me someone else was on to this guy!


Monday, January 4, 2010

Life Goes On Bra

Those of you that read my mother's blog should already be aware of how I spent my New Year's Eve. That's right we had a Battle Royale ... Rock Band style. We practiced for days to get ready to kick some Beatles Rock Band ass against the lesser gender.  We spent days making costumes - to be not only fiercely intimating, but cute at the same time!

However, we got our asses handed to us because my 15 year old cousin is a video game savant. I'm not sure we'll ever live it down.  Next time I need Ukulele Boy on my team!


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Reindeer Games

After Christmas dinner, several of the members of my family decided it was time to play a game. We had too many people for cards (which is what we usually do - spades or canasta etc.) so we pulled out Catch Phrase. Unfortunately we had an odd number of players and needed one more person to even out the teams.  I was yelling for my cousin Jessica to come in from the other room and play with us but she was not having it. She wanted no part in the game (I still don't know why though.) After about 10 minutes of waiting for her to just give in and come play with us my Aunt Stacy hatched a plan. It was short and sweet and to the point. A "no frills" kind of plan which is just the kind I like.

"Let's duct tape her to a chair."

After her suggestion, which was kind of said in a joking manner, my sister and I looked at each other ... then looked at Stacy. No words were exchanged but we knew we were in.

One person got a suitable chair, one person found the duct tape and one person went to tell Jessica that we needed her for something.  Moments later hilarity ensued. It took several of us to keep her down long enough to get a good "Wrap" but, as you can see, we succeeded.

Once she stopped struggling and accepted her fate she asked,

"What is this for?!?!"
"We wanted you to play Catch Phrase!"
"... Well I'm still not playing."

Ugh. We ended up getting someone else to fill in the extra player but it just wasn't the same.

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