Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Bits & Pieces

I've been uninspired lately with the posting - I apologize. I thought I would throw out a few highlights (or low-lights in some cases) of my last few days. So, in no particular order:

1. My office had a party planned for Monday afternoon this week. Well, to be fair, they called it a "Meeting" but lets be realistic; it was from 12:00 - 4:00, it was being catered, there were games planned and it was AT THE FREAKING PARK, so I'm going with party on this one. For some reason though, the partners decided to take up about 3 hours of our party time talking about the firm's "Core Values" and "Case Goals" and new "Attorneys" and new "Office Locations" and all kinds of other nonsense that did not involve the word "Cake" so I was pissed.

2. Once we finally got to the games it was a hot mess. The highlight of which was "Marshmallow Golf" no surprise, it was one of the favorites. A bunch of lawyers gathered in a park with golf clubs and tees and a crowd of amateurs - they were in Hog Heaven - everyone of them felt like Tiger Woods when they hit the living shit out of those poor marshmallows. The rest of us pretty much just took our turns swinging and missing but we were fine with it. Somehow my friend Will actually won - he credited the fact that he had played mini-golf with his girlfriend the night before. I don't think the partners were too pleased that this was all it took to overcome their endless hours of schmoozing and putting on courses like Pebble Beach for the last 25 years. I say - SUCK IT GENTLEMEN!

3. Highlight of the highlight - when Will stepped up for the game winning drive he yelled "Smores!" Get it? Smores? Like "Fore" but b/c we were hitting marshmallows he said "smores" ... like the campfire treat ... get it ? it rhymes! You might not think its that funny but damn it if he didn't make me pee my pants.

4. After work I had to go pretty much straight over to a funeral service for my friend's 92 year old grandmother. It was the nicest service I've ever been to - not depressing like they usually are. Probably b/c she was 92! She lived a good long life; most people can only hope for that. But I was tired as shit after my "meeting" that day and I couldn't wait to get home and go to bed. Sleep is good.

5. I was so tired this morning that I forgot to bring a lunch to work with me. And I have a 45 minute commute so going home for lunch is not an option. Plus, I carpool with the above mentioned Will, so I wouldn't be able to leave the office and pick something up either. I was stuck with eating a blueberry pop-tart from my bottom desk drawer. But I got lucky! We had a "seminar" today which basically just involved an doctor bringing us free lunch so we would think about sending some of our clients his way for treatment. Score. There were individually bagged lunches each with a sandwich, salad/chips, cookie & soda/water. They were neatly labeled on the outside. I chose a ham sandwich with a caesar salad, water and a cookie. Not bad right?? Wrong. The salad and water were good - but the sandwich was on some ridiculous tree-hugger bread. It wasn't really bread at all it was birdseed with some dough holding it together and giving it a bread-like shape. I picked at it for about 20 minutes - tried to take a few bites and gave up. I figured I would cut my losses and move on to the cookie. How bad can a cookie be? It was oatmeal which I like, it had raisins which I'm ok with, it also had Craisins which I don't like. Again with all the fruits and nuts?!?! Can't I just get a G.D. cookie?? I ate maybe 1/4 of it and gave up. Ugh. I polled the rest of the office and everyone else enjoyed there's - I only found one other loser that was stuck with the bird seed bread, she was equally depressed.

6. To end this post on a happy note: My husband just turned on Food Network and Emeril is making Banana's Foster Bread Pudding! Seriously, how much do you want to taste that?


Buggys July 21, 2009 at 9:55 PM  

Oh Jenn, you're back! I'm laughing way too much over here I'm about to bust my stitches...or staples or some painful damn thing.

Anonymous,  July 22, 2009 at 7:05 AM  

OMG, I think I just peed my paints!! Tell Will good job on the winning of the marshmallow golf --- "SMORE" .. he kills me.

Oh and by the way, bird seed bread .. not so good!


Carrie July 22, 2009 at 9:03 AM  

Jen, you are too funny! I couldn't agree more about bread. I like mine like I like my men. Thanks for coming to the service. I thought it was good too, but maybe a bit too much prayer and hymn-time.

The Bee July 23, 2009 at 7:02 AM  

@Buggys: Thanks! Glad I could give you a giggle especially considering the week you just had.

@S: I passed on your congrats - Will is most appreciative.

@Carrie: Glad I'm not the only one that likes by bread sans seeds. As far as the service, there were only two hyms and they were quickies, not bad at all.

Lin July 23, 2009 at 11:26 AM  

You had me at "Smore!". That is hilarious!!

MonsteRawr July 26, 2009 at 7:56 PM  

Mashmallow golf? I'm pretty sure we played that at vacation bible school. Though since VBS and your "meeting" began with a lecture and ended with games, I guess they're kinda the same thing.
Ps-Smore? Love.

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