I realize that I am the only loser in the universe that watches America's Next Top Model but this season has been such a hot mess I had to share. This week during judging panel Tyra Banks got so freaking excited she LAID AN EGG.
Ok a little background for those of you that aren't hip to ANTM. Tyra and her groupies are mentally unstable. They like to wear lame costumes and make up new words in their own secret language. And when they are actually speaking in english it is usually done with a made up accent like Frenchanese. This nonsense is what makes up about 99.9% of the show. And what is Tyra's favorite made up word?
SMIZE (sm-iz) noun : to smile with one's eyes ... but only your eyes not the rest of your face because that would just be smiling and that is too easy. Everyone can smile but only Top Models can smize.
This week during judging panel, all of Tyra's groupies (aka judges) were giving the contestants their word vomit ... I mean "advice" on how to be a better model.
Tyra: You need to smize in this picture.
Nigel: You're not modeling *H to T* in this shot.
Mr. Jay: Your need more neck!
Ms. Jay: You need to ... [wait for it] ... Smeck.
Tyra: (shits her pants)
Tyra: OMG! Smeck! Yes! Yes! You need to SMECK ladies!! More SMECKING!
Okay maybe it wasn't exactly like that but it was close. Somehow Ms. Jay managed to merge two of Tyra's favorite words into a new super word and Tyra proceeded to have an excitement-seizure.
((meanwhile I secretly loved it))